Bangkok's fullname is actually Krungthepmahanakhon amonratanakosin mahintara ayuthaya mahadilok popnopparat ratchathani burirom udomratchaniwet mahasathan amonpiman avatansathit sakkathattiya witsanukamprasit - quite a mouthful really, glad they shortened it. We landed without any fuss and I have to say that Thai Air were quite a nice bunch to fly with, albeit briefly. It didn't take long before we found our first ladyboy. (By the way, I'm not offended or worried by the idea of a third gender, I just can't remember the name for it so ladyboy will have do for now.) He / she looked like a normal woman until he / she spoke and then the deep voice and Adam's apple sort of gave it away. Interestingly enough, even some of the locals gave him / her odd looks as he / she walked past. Anyway, he / she organised a taxi from the airport for us and we were under way.

We had booked a place from the internet and written down the address, perhaps we should have written down directions too. The place turned out to be hard to find for our driver and he was a bit grumpy after several u-turns and having had to ask for directions about three times. I don't blame him really, he was on a fixed fee. We got there eventually and the place seemed a bit odd. There were three quite large buildings that seemd to be a combination of hotel rooms and monthly rented accomodation. Still, we had our own bathroom and air conditioning so we didn't need much else.

We decided to have a look at Bangkok centre that night and tried to walk to the main road but ended up under an elevated expressway in the dark by a scrapyard filled with hundreds of old engines and car parts. The light had a futuristic, terminator feel to it and were it not for the cars zooming past us, nose to tail, we could easily have been on the lookout for HKs. We took a combination of trains and alighted by the Intercontinental hotel to investigate a tailoring offer we'd seen in the inflight magazine. In the end, I had my measurements taken for a couple of suits and some shirts.

A nearby shopping mall provided us with a welcome doughnut stop although we felt like making a hasty exit after spilling 7Up everywhere. Strangely, the mall was closing by that time, 9pm, apparently to save electricity. However, the cinema in it appeared to stay open longer and we took the opportunity to see Man on Fire, fun but a little predictable at the end. We hopped in a taxi to get back as the trains had finished for the night and even with several wrong turns and stops for directions it was cheaper than the trains so we resolved to use taxis in future.

The following day we wanted to get Vietnamese visas sorted out and so we tried walking to the main road again, this time in the daylight, and had some extra passport pictures taken. We got to the embassy, my first visit to one, filled in our forms, paid our money and left our passports there for a few days. We then called in to my tailor (hehe, I've never been able to say that before) for a quick fitting. The shirts were great fitting, not much chance of them bunching up weirdly round my waist. The trousers, finished overnight(!), were very comfortable too. The jackets would take another couple of days but they fitted me exactly for them before we left.

We didn't do much else that day except visit a mall or two and eat some doughnuts again.

We decided to do a lot more the following day. We caught a taxi to Chinatown and then a river boat to the area by the big temples and palaces. Almost immediately the tuk-tuk drivers descended on us trying to get us to go with them. Apparently, the Grand Palace was closed and for only 10 Baht (13p) they would take us to Wat Po. We weren't about to fall for that one, they take you shopping first so that they get some commision. We walked to Wat Po instead. On the way we were told several other stories, all conflicting.

In Wat Po we took a guided tour from a nice guy who sometimes sounded like he was reeling off memorised sentences he didn't entirely understand. However, because Thai is a tonal language and English isn't he was probably just talking flatly. Anyway, for about an hour or so he showed us a 46m long, gold plated, reclining Buddha as well as lots of good temples. Afterwards we walked all the way back up to Wat Phra Kaew and the Grand Palace and went in there. It was almost like a mini city filled with beautiful buildings, all sparkling, pointy and colourful. Well worth a visit.

We crossed the river and looked at Wat Arun, the Temple of the Dawn for a few minutes. It looked slightly crooked from one side, a bit like the tower at Pisa. After that we caught a bus to Damnoen Saduak, some distance away from Bangkok. It was kind of weird being the only non-locals on the bus for two hours. The town of Damnoen Saduak ended up being a bit dirty and run down on a big, dusty road - but that's not why we were there. We located what appeared to be the only hotel in town and checked in. We also arranged a boat trip to the floating market for the morning, early in the morning. We had a nice dinner at a weird restaurant. Claire had to stop them from foisting more beer in my direction, in the heat and humidity beer goes straight to my head.

What I forgot to mention though was that we were actually paying for two hotels that night. We'd left our bags and stuff in Bangkok for the night, not because it was cheap but because we only planned our trip at the last minute and we'd already paid for the Bangkok room. We got up early and were taken in the back of a pick up truck to one of the canals that criss-cross the area. There we were loaded into a longtail boat and driven along the narrow canals through fields of crops and past rundown farm houses.

When we finally reached the floating market, our boat driver seemed to want us to stop at each and every stall, I imagine he was getting a commision from them if we bought anything. We were at his mercy for about fifteen minutes until the canal side stalls were added to by the people selling from boats. Then it became easier just to see and to buy from places that we wanted to. The place was brilliantly colourful but we were perhaps a few minutes too early getting there. The sellers were only just getting started. On the plus side, by staying overnight beforehand we had avoided most of the tourists.

We were back at the hotel by 9am and on the first available bus back to Bangkok. Once there we headed back to our hotel for a nap and a hot shower before we went out in the afternoon. We collected our Vietnam visas, bought flights to Ho Chi Minh City, ate pizza, ate doughnuts and I tried on my suit jacket, a very nice fit. I ordered a couple of extra shirts, because at least I know they'll fit, and we arranged for the whole lot to be posted home.

We got a taxi to the Patpong district just to see if it was as dodgy as we had be told it was. We had actually wanted to visit a market in Chinatown but the taxi driver told us it was closed at that time of night but it was possibly a lie intended to help him overcharge us. Grrrr. Anyway, we had wanted to see Patpong and now we had our chance. The street we ended up on had a couple of dodgy sounding clubs on it, something like "Dream boy" and "Team boy" I think. We gave those a wide berth. The side streets were full of similar clubs and plenty with a more female focus. We were invited into a few of them but declined all offers. With some of them you could see enough from the street - we kept walking. One of the busiest side streets had a market on it littered with stalls selling clothing or pirated films. That reminds me of something. A couple of days ago we went into an IT mall to see how much iPods were. In the equivalent malls in Singapore and KL we were offered dodgy copies of films by people as we walked through. The main difference between those malls and the one in Bangkok was the type of film offered. In Bangkok, the offerings were predominantly adult in nature.

We walked away from Patpong after only a short visit and ended up walking all the way back to our hotel. It was quite a long way and wore me out but I felt better for it.

The next day we headed for Kanchanaburi using the buses again. This time the journey was three hours instead of two but was slightly more comfortable anyway. Once in the town famous for its bridge, we decided to have some lunch and hopefully avoid the people desperate to take our money from us. Lunch was weird. We had gone for some of our usual, safe dishes but they were cooked with some odd ingredients. Regardless, we ate them and then went out to find the bridge.

The bridge that we're talking about here is the one over the river Kwai - as featured in the film. We were offered a guided tour by a couple in a beaten up pick-up truck and since it wasn't too expensive, we accepted. They took us to the JEATH museum for an introduction on the Death Railway, as it's known. After our brief stop there they took us to the actual bridge. There are lots of buildings nearby now that wouldn't have been there when the bridge was built or the film made and that sort of spoiled it slightly. However, it was still great to see and we were able to walk across the bridge pausing briefly to let a train through. We had a final stop at the allied cemetary and then caught an express bus back to Bangkok.

Before heading back to the hotel, we stopped off in Chinatown for a wander round. We came across the thieves market (so called for historical reasons), teeming with people all looking at stalls filled by and large with second hand stuff. It was odd and we eventually decided to go back to our hotel. Our timing was good as it started raining on the way back. Speaking of which, our taxi driver on the way back was an octogenarian in need of retirement in my opinion. At one point he was dangerously close to the kerb on an expressway in the pouring rain. I held my breath, if I'd said anything I would have distracted him as he didn't speak any English.

This diary is proof that we got back ok. I tipped him quite well in the hope that it might help him retire soon.

That's about it for Bangkok. We took a taxi to the airport the following day to fly to Vietnam. The story continues there...