We waited for four hours to get on the plane. There was yet another security check and once again being a girl really helps - I was asked to stand behind a curtain while a lady brushed my shoulder with a metal detector and let me go. Mikey had his bag searched. But only the main compartment, cos you wouldn't try and hide a bomb in a side pocket now, would you?

We had some pretty horrible scrambled eggs and soggy bacon at 5.30am and then it became midnight. It was sunny all the way home but they made us keep the blinds closed. They don't like it if you disobey them. I watched a film and read a book. A German girl by the loo wanted to talk about how much she loved India. I didn't. I watched the map of Dubai and thought how nice it'd be to go there. I watched as we headed for Kuwait and Baghdad but swerved, disapointingly, at the last minutes. After the cloud cleared here were snowfields and mountains and Christmas card towns of Eastern Europe out of the window.

And then, after 660 interminable minutes, we landed at Heathrow. Actually, we took a short detour to Oxford first, but then we came back and landed. And we waited on the runway for about twenty minutes. Do these people not realise that I want to come home? We ran to the baggage carousel but had to wait for about forty minutes for our bags. Steering the obligatory limping trolley at high speeds through the airport, we arrived at the immigration desk. A solitary lady sat behind a glass screen and the hall was otherwise empty. We showed her our passports and she waved us through into England. It wasn't right. I asked her for a stamp, just to prove we were home, and she seemed surprised but she agreed. I've never had an England stamp, and it's already my favourite. So, that's it. We're officially back in England.